As a Senior, its hard to think back on your high school life without reflecting on it some, and impossible to look to the future without regretting the past.
I've decided that being the awkward and maybe annoying/quiet person I am has its ups and downs.
The downs; obvious. But then again, I'm going to be a pre-med in college.
I've often heard that Pre-meds need to study all the time- in order to keep up with the competition.
How much easier will it be for me to put my other half into a box than it will be for my peers, considering my other half has not had much use while it has been out.
I've decided that I'm much too awkward. Fate has decided that I will be an outsider. As stated in my earlier posts, some people are just not very fun to be around, ya know? Nothing you do will change that.
Sure, I have those "friends" who pity my sorry state, but those friendships are super-fake, just like most friendships started when people "tell you" to be someones "friend." (sorry if I'm a bit redundant here)
hah....oh yeah..I'm a senior now. I have nothing to change anymore. Its long past time for change. My social life is as is. Think mmm 2nd grade social life
and you have a pretty good picture of what my life is like.
Its a pity I'm so awkward, and the way I am...really..
The people I'm around are really fun, and really awesome~If I wasn't me, I would love living here
Well, I could be much worse, right? I've kinda forsaken my self-esteem. People can talk bad about me in front of me, or say stuff that might offend other people, but i just go.. meh.. (terrible, isn't it?) But I see people all the time, that are mirror images of myself. I can tell that they have no friends, and are trying to impress people, or are trying to be funny so that people like them. I can empathize with them, yet would I want to be one of their friends? No, because they aren't that fun to be around. Although many times they are at a much worse degree of awkwardness than I am, the general "aura"(?) is the same. Therefore, what am I even doing trying to err be social (?) when the social people view me in the same way they view the anomalies? Watching them makes me embarrassed, because they remind me of myself. Thats basically the way I think.
I think I'm gonna start posting more often, just to get all of my ideas written down.
By the way- I really admire the way C.S. Lewis writes. He's very logical- It looks like something I would write if I was errrr...more mature.
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