So, where do these anomalies come from? Does not every developing child have the same potential to become well liked, and successful? Well, actually, no. In psychology, we learn that both environmental and genetic factors play a role in shaping who a person is. For example, if we take a naturally shy child, and place him/her in an environment in which others reach out to them and befriend them, they will likely become more social and well liked. If instead the shy child is placed in surroundings that expect him/her to take initiative, or surroundings that reject him/her when they take initiative, the shy child will be too afraid to interact with others, develop to be socially awkward, and well, will turn out like me
.
Despite all that I've said above, some people are just naturally fun to be around. They have a natural aura that seems to attract invitations to social events, and inclusion into groups. Some people aren't that lucky.
Disposition of the Loner.
Everyone knows people that seem to ruin social events. The people that you'd have more fun if they weren't there.Those are the ones who have it worst, they are the ones who have a repelling aura, who are fated from the start to be in zero social groups, long to belong the most, and yet cannot, because they are very unfun to be around. These are our social anomalies. Sure, they get included here and there, either out of pity or niceness, but
everyone knows that its very superficial. It is seemingly impossible for these anomalies to gain genuine friendships.
Personal Experience-
Social anomalies are those who everyone knows, but no one really cares about. Personally, I panic whenever any of my teachers assigns projects in which you form your own groups, because most of the time, I'm the one at the end who doesn't have a group, and most of the time, I'm stuck with undesirable people, either those who completely slack off schoolwork, or are super-antisocial.
So, do I have friends or not? Possibly. I would say they are more of aquaintances. The reason I'm usually stuck without a group for projects is because all my friends have other people that they would rather work with. In pair projects, I'm always the odd one out. None of my apparent friends want to dorm with me next year because they have their better friends to dorm with. I can open AIM for a week and no one will message me unless I message them first (excluding those who I never talk to who ask "Whats the BIO hwk?"). I have never been invited to a party (that the whole world wasn't invited to), excluding that one birthday LAN party I got invited to in my sophomore year
and mtg/wii parties I've been invited to out of niceness (If it wasn't for my friend (lets call him dL) who pities my social life I wouldn't even have these
). Oh, and I don't think any of my "friends" have asked me to hang out with them before. Instead, I spend most of my time at home
True, I haven't asked them either, but then again, thats just one of my many flaws. I'm super shy and overly fearful of rejection, by the way.
dL summed up my cause of my social status very nicely
"Lack of Self-Motivation and Lack of Inclusion"
Post a Comment