As a Senior, its hard to think back on your high school life without reflecting on it some, and impossible to look to the future without regretting the past.

I've decided that being the awkward and maybe annoying/quiet person I am has its ups and downs.
The downs; obvious.  But then again, I'm going to be a pre-med in college. 

I've often heard that Pre-meds need to study all the time- in order to keep up with the competition.
How much easier will it be for me to put my other half into a box than it will be for my peers, considering my other half has not had much use while it has been out.

I've decided that I'm much too awkward.  Fate has decided that I will be an outsider.  As stated in my earlier posts, some people are just not very fun to be around, ya know?  Nothing you do will change that.
Sure, I have those "friends" who pity my sorry state, but those friendships are super-fake, just like most friendships started when people "tell you" to be someones "friend." (sorry if I'm a bit redundant here)

hah....oh yeah..I'm a senior now.  I have nothing to change anymore.  Its long past time for change.  My social life is as is.  Think mmm 2nd grade social life and you have a pretty good picture of what my life is like.
Its a pity I'm so awkward, and the way I am...really..
The people I'm around are really fun, and really awesome~If I wasn't me, I would love living here

Well, I could be much worse, right?  I've kinda forsaken my self-esteem.  People can talk bad about me in front of me, or say stuff that might offend other people, but i just go.. meh.. (terrible, isn't it?)  But I see people all the time, that are mirror images of myself.  I can tell that they have no friends, and are trying to impress people, or are trying to be funny so that people like them.  I can empathize with them, yet would I want to be one of their friends? No, because they aren't that fun to be around.  Although many times they are at a much worse degree of awkwardness than I am, the general "aura"(?) is the same.  Therefore, what am I even doing trying to err be social (?) when the social people view me in the same way they view the anomalies?  Watching them makes me embarrassed, because they remind me of myself.  Thats basically the way I think.

I think I'm gonna start posting more often, just to get all of my ideas written down.

By the way- I really admire the way C.S. Lewis writes.  He's very logical-  It looks like something I would write if I was errrr...more mature.

  What is a High School Social Anomaly?
Everyone has seen the outcasts around the hallways, classrooms, and cafeterias.  *Loners, losers, rejects.  Contrary to popular view, anomalies are not necessarily drug addicts or alcoholics; they may even have halfway decent grades.  Many don't separate themselves fro m social grouping on purpose.  In fact, their primary issue is with social rejection (which I'll discuss in more detail in my next post)- they have many "friends", but no one really knows them nor cares about them.  They never seem to fit into any clique, wherever they go, and don't really have a group of friends.  They merely "exist" throughout high School, never experiencing a feeling of belonging.
 * My preferential title is "Loner."
 
Here are 6 reasons why High School Anomalies should be envied:
(written from my personal perspective)

1. Peer Pressure - As an anomaly, you will never encounter any peer pressure.  While your peers in their cliques may struggle with drugs and alcohol, you will never be confronted with any temptations.  Although you won't really form those important "bonds" we always hear about, life is better when you don't have unnecessary pressure.  Sure, you'll miss out on the benefits of friendship (parties, get togethers, etc...), but hey, less worry = more happiness in the long run.

2. Self Reputation- As a loner, you'll never have trouble maintaining your self reputation.  In fact, you don't even have one.  As your classmates struggle to keep up their self-image with flashy name-brand clothes and top of the line shoes, you'll stroll through high school without any care for fashion; after all, no one really cares about what you wear.  Furthermore, as your peers try so hard to be "cool" and someone they are not, you can truly "be yourself" in High School.  Oh, and you can forget about Prom and Sadie Hawkins; tough luck, no ones going to ask you and ruin their reputation.  Well, at least you won't have to stress out or experience an uncomfortable moment when a girl/guy you aren't really attracted to asks you (unlike your peers).

3. No Gossip- On that note, because you have no reputation, you basically have zero popularity.  Somehow, rumors always circulate about the popular people, the ones who've built up their self-image from their first days of middle school.  Well, as an anomaly you don't have to worry about gossip or classmates talking about you behind your back!  People naturally like to gossip about the popular, probably because the more popular a person is, the more they have to lose. Actually, my theory is that popular people are just more fun to talk about, because they're..you know..popular.  Lucky you, right?  

4.Close friends- High School is a period of transition. As students move through High School, they begin to find their true self, and thus many shifts in personality and preferences may take place.  Thus, many students may find that their best friends from middle school or Freshman year will change, and their friends "aren't the same anymore."  I hear the complaint "We used to be very close, I don't know what happened" all the time.  As a loner, you never find any close friends in High School.  Sure, everyone knows you, but no one really cares about you or wants to hang out with you.  Since you never develop any strong bonds, you'll never have to fear losing them.  No emotional/dramatic climax = more happiness.     

5.Less Wasted Time- C'mon, everyone knows that instant messaging is a complete waste of time.  As it is,  loners aren't the most important people in the social hierarchy, and your classmates will naturally pay less attention to your messages.  Admit it, loners aren't a priority, because they just aren't that interesting or fun to talk to.  So unless you want to be like me, (opening AIM all night and getting one message asking about yesterday's Bio homework) shut off the computer and do some work; you don't have any real friends to talk to, so you have less incentive to waste time with instant messaging. Less time wasted = More time "available" to bring up that lame GPA.

6.No dramatic breakups- As stated earlier, anomalies are not very popular.  Thus said, anomalies are much less likely to become involved in any romantic relationships in high school at all.  Think about it, would you date a loner?  After all, high school relationships are majorly based on lust (a topic for a future post); either that, or the majority of the school is attracted to that heartthrob's pheromones.  Hey, as an anomaly, you won't have to deal with the emotional drama.  No girls crying on your shoulder, no flowers and mushy cards, and more importantly, no experience of being dumped.  In fact, since it has been ordained that you have no chance of having this type of relationship, you'll have even more of an "opportunity" to bring up your grades.  Lucky you, since most high school relationships don't last long anyways.


uhh....yeah..


Please feel free to comment on my ideas